I was re-reading the "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock." I stumbled across this line that hit home.
"Should I, , after tea and cakes and ices, Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?"
I think I have in the past been doing that too much. "Forcing a moment to its crisis." I love that line and I love that idea.
Okay, enough of poetry hour.
My update is that I found an apt. I should do the lease tomorrow and I will probably move around the beginning of Sept. Overall, it really s@cks eggs. I mean really.
I found a place that was actually quite nice and had plenty of space for the kids. I know why my W wants this and why she feels this is the only option. (I disagree)
But I think I at least showed her I took her concerns seriously and acted on them. Because I do love her and want the best for our M.
I think she has no idea what she's in for and I'm scared that she will grow to hate me for leading us to this. She doesn't always think things through.
However, she is pretty hopeful overall. She's been talking a lot about a positive outcome and getting our marriage back. I think a month ago, she was still in the "I don't know" phase and wasn't really hoping for anything. Of course, she does this to keep out the negative thoughts.
She also asked me to schedule and MC appt. I had been suggesting this for a while because I wanted his help with the separation in order to get the best result. She finally agreed last night to set up the appt (before I found out about the apt today)
I don't know if it is the start of MC (again) or just a one-time thing. I surmise (as I am want to do) that we will have the move-out appt, then take a breather for a month or so..then get back into it.
I have to the positive about this change. I think it will do some good as I won't be around her as much. It's good for me too. Plus it's like 2 min from my office - short commute, lunch @ home.
My only issue is the kids. My oldest son has grown super attached to me. I worry about the effect on him and we will do everything in our power to minimize it, but you can't do everything. I suspect he will probably stay over a lot.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
