Just posting here to get opinions and feedback from those who are affected by or involved in PEAs...
I am about to begin D process, although not sure if I'll seek leg sep first and then process D papers for filing at a later time. No matter...
I am trying to get some insight into the thought process of someone in an A. I thought that maybe I could... be tolerant to infidelity, but find that's not the case at this time...
But I would like to at least have some empathy with my W.
Of course, I truly do own my part in my M breakdown... her reasons to seek an A are her reasons and I accept I will never understand those...
What I would like to try to understand is the thoughts that lead to the lies, the deceit, the hiding...
I have no idea if it's the same in every A, I'm guessing to some extent.
In some cases, the A is completely secret. Hidden from EVERYONE. In other cases, the A is full open, as the WAS embraces the creed of "I don't feel M".
In my case, my W's A is wide open to all her very close and trusted friends as well as to OM's family... and is vehemently denied and hidden from others, especially me, our kids, my family, and the general public at large... My W and OM are "just friends"...
While the jurisdiction we live in is not "no fault", adultery is only a factor in allowing a D to proceed without the usual waiting period...
So does anyone have any general thoughts as to what the motivators are behind the lies and hiding? Including the obvious "guilt"...
