WAW, and a bisexual open marriage part 4

[aeolianchaos]

1. She is very interested in women, so much that it has overtaken her interest in men. She says she's not completely lesbian, but feels that she can't focus on guys until she meets her need for girls. (or satiates her curiosity).

Hmm. Tough one. My W has always claimed bi-sexuality but I have always been a little skeptical because it was her freshman year of college when she experiment seriously with it.

People do get ideas in their heads and those ideas can become very captivating. The idea that she can't 'focus' on guys until she fills her need for 'girls' is a little strange to me. Surely she is capable of functioning on more than one track at once? If she wants to be able to freely pursue OW's she is going to need to be able to do that..

4. She herself is not sure how far she is willing to go with this. By her actions and words sometimes I can tell she is testing herself, to see how far she can really go.

So she thinks she might want something but isn't really sure if she actually wants it? Does she know that she wants it?

Will she open the box? We dont know. Will either or both of us like what's inside I don't think either of us knows either. Do we want to stay together, yes we do. Is she risking that in order to find herself, yes she is.

So she thinks in pursuing this course of action she will find herself? Within it? From the experience? From making the decision to pursue that path?

She may find herself not finding herself through any of this - perhaps there is something in pursuing things this way that actually serves to prevent her from finding herself? Maybe she doesn't want to go through the pain of seeing herself more as she really is?

I like this phrase: "This moment is the perfect teacher." How she reacts to her own fears of you doing something, how she feels about herself, how she thinks that she should give you permission to do something you really aren't looking to do.. all of this provides a real window into how she responds to stuff and into who she is being and perhaps who she would like to become.