for now, i am spending as much time with my family as i can. Work is very accomodating and i was home by 330 today. Made my kids dinner, had a swim and went to soccer.
I have told all my children that mom is confused with her life right now. That i cant keep forcing mom to come and visit and to call them. I told them that we had to focus on our family staying as it is right now without mom around. They asked some questions of me, but all in all, they excepted it as best they could and they now that they are loved and none of this is their fault. Its mom not knowing what she is doing at the moment.
I have felt oddly calm the last day or so. I am laughing with my kids and friends constantly and just feel good. I am sure this will change as the roller coaster continues, but i am enjoying it at this moment, and i know these moments will get longer and longer.
So i guess i have dropped the rope and taken back me. From here on, i dont know, one day at a time.
