We have a rotating group of people that meet up at a rotating group of bars on Wednesdays. I was the first one there and W was second. Hadn't been out with her socially in weeks. She had a new shirt that looked great on her, but the funny thing was that she had her capri pants inside out. She went to the bathroom to fix herself and we both had a good laugh over it.
A few other people showed up, including OM who sat between us. We had pleasantries while eating and having beer from the brewpub. All in all conversations were good with everyone, nothing uncomfortable.
At one point, another friend brought up a trip to New Orleans that W was organizing for Halloween. I had no idea about it. After they talked for a few minutes, W told me that they were going on this trip. Told her I figured that out, with a smile on my face. She then said she didn't invite me because I wasn't talking to her then. I just kind of smiled and shrugged.
We had an 'incident' last Halloween, so I think that was a convenient excuse for her. Still, it hurt. There have been a few other examples of my group of friends doing things together without inviting me where I found out after the fact. For as much as some of my friends say they don't like how W is treating me, they still don't mind doing social things with her and/or OM.
The part that hurts me the most is that we had all these shared experiences together, and now we're both going our separate ways. We both brought up various things we've done together, either alone or with family. I still do things with the rest of W's family, as they still feel I'm part of the family now. Everyone but W.
Last time I saw W, I think she was angry at the world. Tonight, we were both pleasant and upbeat and I don't think it was much of an act for either of us. I just don't know what I should be doing now, reaching out, retreating, giving up, holding on to hope, who knows?
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
