You grabbed hold of a word she said at the end of a sentence, when you tried to hug her. She told you she wasn't ready for that "yet". You even admitted to seeing that one little word as huge encouragement. You've talked about it more than once as seeing "hope" in that little word.

But here is something that you are being in denial about and just want to discard the possibility:

Quote:
she is not involved with any OM right now and I choose to believe her past interactions were EA only and of course she only saw it as 'friendship'. So for now, let's remove that from the equation.


You choose to believe what you want to believe. What a lot of men don't understand is that an EA for a woman is very serious. Maybe from your POV it's not a big deal (as long as she didn't sleep with the guy). But that's where you are wrong.

Nothing is going to work for her or you, until you figure out why she's turning to OM b/c she can't get what she needs from you.

Why did she tell you, after one session with that therapist, that she would never have sex with you again? She's a young woman, and to tell you that she'll never have sex with you again....is pretty serious. What really drove her to sleeping in separate bedrooms?

I know you don't want to think about her having an EA, but it's just not that simple. Even if she's decided not to contact him again.....and even if she hasn't tried....it takes a good while to come out of the withdrawal from an EA. If you know exactly what day was her last contact with any OM, then you can add about 4 months to that, and you will have an idea of where she is now. But here's the thing, she has not plans to stay in the M (according to her words), so why would she stop trying to find OM to fulfill her emotionally? If she was working to R the M, then I might buy it, but it just doesn't fit.

She wants to be free and she wants somebody who will cause her to feel special, happy, alive, and sexy. You want to see what "hope" looks like? When you become that man who can give her those feelings.....then you'll see wonderous, beautiful, and exciting hope.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!