Do I tell her all of this? Do I say to her, "look here's how I felt last November, and now here's how I feel again. I want to believe that you're committed to this process, but I also need to see it in your actions; otherwise it makes me feel like it's just words."
Yes.
The HOW is important. Nicely? yeah but without a shred of doubt that it is that important to you. Give and take, if she says she has been showing evalutate it. Likely she has, but not enough for you. Compromise.
Quote:
This has gotten so much worse after MC started. There was this initial elation and then all the feelings (pain, anger, frustration) that I had tucked away are back and back with a vengeance. I also have to think that maybe if MC is doing this to me, it's doing something similar to her.
It will get bad before it gets better. All that crap you buried is going to come out, either now with a therapist, or down the road in some other way.
This is the pus that must come out in order for the wound to be healed.
You're poking around in the past, and that pain you're feeling is from the past. Unlike physical pain which we cannot (thank God) remember in detail beyond: That suckked, mental pain can linger in the memory.
It is in the past...and she is NOT doing that to you right now.
When Piecing, you HAVE to R talk, communicate AND set expectations. You are both aiming for the same goal and you both need to be compassionate toward the other and be willing to give...and to take.
You, yourself? You have to stifle those doubts, do your best to kill them on your own, and if unable to? Then talk with her about them.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
