XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined....

[XYZ]

Jack - I need some specific advice.

Here's the sitch. Last Nov when I moved home from our first sep, I was so excited and happy. Then W wouldn't spend time with me. I'd make dates, she'd cancel them. I came to the conclusion that she wasn't trying and long story short, moved out again 6 months later.

Now, we're "trying" again and last night I asked W to have a drink with me. She refused. All those feelings are back. I'm convinced that she's not committed again and my mental attitude is in the total toilet. My thoughts are around quitting (I bomb her before she can bomb me, again!) and I know it's the same script over again. W "says" all the right things, but she won't spend time with me. It's the same deal with the MC, she "said" she'd schedule, didn't. Her words are spot on, he actions tell a different story.

Now, here's my specific question: Do I tell her all of this? Do I say to her, "look here's how I felt last November, and now here's how I feel again. I want to believe that you're committed to this process, but I also need to see it in your actions; otherwise it makes me feel like it's just words."

I vacillate between that seeming needy (which it probably is) and it just being me putting my feelings out there. The way I feel right now I'm afraid I'll give up.

Right after the bomb, W told me about how hard she had been trying for how long and how I didn't notice and how she just had no more to give. I didn't understand her at all. Now, that's EXACTLY how I feel and I understand how she could just say F it, because that's what I want to do now.

Help please! I love my wife; I want to be with her; I want to believe her commitment to this process; right now I don't really believe it; I don't know what to do.

This has gotten so much worse after MC started. There was this initial elation and then all the feelings (pain, anger, frustration) that I had tucked away are back and back with a vengeance. I also have to think that maybe if MC is doing this to me, it's doing something similar to her.