It's a good thing that you are getting active and keeping yourself busy. That is the best thing you can do in this situation.
It's interesting that your W planned to leave and it's also interesting that she won't communicate with anybody, mainly because I don't understand it myself.
I can tell you that in the weeks before I dropped the bomb on my H, I didn't know I was going to do it, then I didn't know when I was going to do it, and then one day I just did it. (You're wife obviously put a bit more thought into arranging the move and the process serving, because I did all of that after the bomb.) Nonetheless, I can say that to this day I still love my husband. I would want him to have a happy birthday and to share special times with him. I'm not divorcing because I hate my H, and I can't really go into the reasons why I am divorcing him, but suffice it to say that it's possible to love someone very much and need to be away from them.
One thing that struck me is that you seem bewildered that you had no sign that your wife was unhappy and that she never has explained why she left. I don't know if you're like my H, but I told him repeatedly what was wrong and what was needed for things to be right. I told him for more than five years, repeatedly. We went to counseling, and I told him there and he agreed to a course of action and did nothing. When I finally left, he wanted to know why. ??? It's like nothing I said ever stuck.
When I made one single attempt to explain to him, I got one sentence out of my mouth before he went on the defense. The man was purple and yelling. I was pretty much done with explanations at that point. If asked, my husband would say that he doesn't ever yell, but he does.
This next part is food for thought, not an accusation, because I don't know you. It does seem like you could use a little more introspection on the whys and hows of what happened. Maybe you should even consider counseling for the sake of having someone to talk things through confidentially.
I'll bet if you sat down and thought about what your W was saying and doing in the months and even years before she left you'd realize that there was a theme that she tried to tell you or something in your behavior that made it difficult for her to communicate.
