My GALing and His Bailing Part 5

[ESN]

He joked about losing his job? That's very weird - makes me think either A) he's very afraid he MAY lose it or B) he really did lose it and has been hiding the fact from you, and tried to tell you but chickened out. Any way you could verify what's really going on? Do you ever see his paychecks?

He's at work.

This is his "sense of humor."

He said he "got fired" after I thanked him for helping me with D yesterday morning probably to show me what's at stake for him if he helps with all that is going on - except, the thing I was pointing out is that I'd actually be happy. Which was an odd internal response for me. It surprised me.

But, no, he's definitely working - to greater or lesser degrees.

He has a boundary, where he takes days and afternoons for himself off - but doesn't tell work and doesn't tell me - but if I ask him to do something he "can't because he has to work."

Right now, I could use his help with all that's going on - no sitter now for two weeks, looking for a nanny, work piled up, D not sleeping and sick. It's all on my shoulders.

[ESN]

Next, could you define honesty, please?

And if you could follow that up with your interpretation of where honesty comes from or perhaps where honesty begins?

Honesty is definitely hard to define.

Honesty is a choice to tell the truth as you know it to the best of your ability in a situation that requires it.

Honesty definitely begins with oneself ...

Honesty comes from ... us.

[~ kd ~]

Good stuff...

Could you offer your thoughts on the link between honesty and trust and how they relate to... the self...? And ultimately to the world...?

[ESN]

Good stuff...

Could you offer your thoughts on the link between honesty and trust and how they relate to... the self...? And ultimately to the world...?

Ah boy.

If you're being honest with yourself, you can trust yourself. I think. If you're being honest with others, they can trust you.

I've recently realized making the world a better place begins with you.

[~ kd ~]

[~ kd ~]

Could you next define the following two words:

+ judgment

+ integrity

[ESN]

Could you next define the following two words:

+ judgment

+ integrity

Judgment is an opinion we create about something or someone ... based on what we observe (or what we project).

Integrity is remaining true to yourself (your honesty with yourself) (so values, connections, etc.)

[ESN]

Moving us to here:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2173957&#Post2173957

[KenF]

"but it's an uphill battle when he thinks he's entitled to 14 hours of free childcare a day"

or maybe from his perspective - "that you get the joy of being a full time mother for 14 hours a day, while all financial responsibility falls on his shoulders, and yet she feels she's entitled to a monetary refund too"

being a full time stay at home parent is something that many people do not have the luxury of being. something that we all would love the opportunity to do, but cannot.

[ESN]

"but it's an uphill battle when he thinks he's entitled to 14 hours of free childcare a day"

or maybe from his perspective - "that you get the joy of being a full time mother for 14 hours a day, while all financial responsibility falls on his shoulders, and yet she feels she's entitled to a monetary refund too"

being a full time stay at home parent is something that many people do not have the luxury of being. something that we all would love the opportunity to do, but cannot.

Ken, I support myself. He pays communal stuff. I'm a stay at home parent who works part time. He's a work full time parent who ... helps with D when he's feeling in the mood to do it.

Either way - it's not a luxury to live like this, trust me.