First, hope and expect are two different things... hope is allowed, but expectations often let us down... because we cannot control an outcome... no matter how hard we work towards it...
On your W's "super-mom" complex... that's her stuff... I'm not sure that offering to help will remove her self doubt about being a great mom... in reality, it might have the opposite affect because no, she needs help and therefore cannot live up to the image she wants of herself as being a great "mom"...
Only she knows what that looks like, to her...
It is possible that the lost connection between the two of you has nothing to do with you doing your "fair share" around the house... but rather with your connection with each other...
