Can my relationship be saved, part 2

[a girl]

Thanks, DG! It's nice to be making progress in one area of my life.

I've started exercising every single day - trying to find the right mix of stuff, but I did 40 minutes on the treadmill yesterday, and today I did 20 minutes on the treadmill and then crunches/push ups/squats. Trying to get to 100 of each every other day. Right now I can only do 100 crunches, 25 pushups, and 10 squats.

Clearly I need some work, but it feels empowering. There's only a tiny bit of that's motivated by the "get hot and show him what he's missing" urge.

[a girl]

Guh, he called me at my office and I answered the phone without thinking about it.

He said, "Sorry to call and bother you, but I wanted to get an answer quickly - is it ok if I go by the house and grab a few things we've "already agreed on - kitchen appliances, some clothes".

I said, "I assume this would be done before you pick up S7?" (The implication being that he would not be at the house while I am.)

He said, "Yes, of course."

I said, "Ok, sounds fine. Bye!" and hung up.

Not sure why he still calls it "the house" as if it's still ours - he has a house, and I have a house, and they are not the same house.

[a girl]

Treated myself to Chipotle for lunch. I sure do (heart) them!

Got back to mail from H (to work and home account) asking about when he can have movers come. I'm leaning toward "during the work day" so I won't have to be there - just worried how S7 will take it if he comes home and stuff is gone. Although he's only taking a few minor things - his desk is probably the most noticeable thing. At least, he hasn't asked to take anything else big. So I'm thinking S7 won't even really notice, and if it's on a Monday, he'll see the stuff at H's new house, so it won't be a shock when it's no longer at our house.

[Queen_of_Swords]

Maybe...instead of trying to hide or hope that S doesn't notice, include him in helping to pack up a box of his stuff just for Daddy's place?

Just a thought.

[a girl]

Treated myself to McDonalds after a particularly upsetting Drs. appointment. Still under my calorie allotment for the day, and I sure do love their fries.

[a girl]

Went to bed early last night - the emotional stress of the drs appt wore me out.

H mailed a couple days ago asking about scheduling time with a divorce mediator (I had suggested he call, this wasn't really his initiative). I replied this morning and told him I have a lot of appointments to try to fit in to my work schedule in the next few weeks, so can we hold on this.

Not a ploy - I really do have a lot of appointments, and honestly, I can't take the stress of dealing with his issues right now.

[a girl]

Meeting with our "family therapist" tonight. Not looking forward to spending an hour with H, but will remember to keep it cheerful and upbeat.

Suspect he's going to push for more time with S7 sooner rather than later, but I can't go for that - S7 seems to be handling things really well, but it's early days, and I have seen some changes in him - he's clingier with me, much more huggy, wants to generally "be" with me more. No acting out at daycamp or regressive behaviour (those are the two big signs), but little things that tell me we need to keep taking it slow.

Not sure H will agree, but I'm not willing to compromise, so while his agreement would be nice, it is not currently necessary.

Tomorrow will be his first overnight at his dad's, so we'll see how that goes.

[a girl]

H's response to my mail - "I understand. Perhaps we'll agree on stuff to the point where when you're ready to see her in a few weeks, we won't have much to talk about."

I guess I'm glad he didn't argue.

[a girl]

Met with our "family therapist" tonight - 40 minutes. The longest I've been with H since he packed up kitchen stuff on Sunday. Hopefully it will soon be the only time I spend with him.

He wanted to talk to her 'alone' about questions around S7 - I said that's fine, provided the next session is filling me in on those conversations.

She asked if there's any chance, down the line, we might be friends. I said, "He knows my criteria for having anything other than a business relationship with me."

He complained that I've said I'm actively trying to harm his relationship (relationship! hah! affair) and that I've said I hope she dumps him in an ego-crushing way.

Both are true - no point denying it. At any rate, he seemed very bitter about that, but after the humiliation and betrayal he's heaped on me, I'm not too concerned with his feelings right now.

[~¤DG¤~]

Boy he really is just thinking about himself, isn't he?