Feels Like I'm In Two-a-Days

[Telemark]

That is a great reply from jb, and I agree with every word.

We are such emotional trainwrecks during all of this, and we are constantly second-guessing our own words and actions. We read DR and DB, we read the 37 rules, we read all of the advice given on this site and we want so desperately to save our M's. Do I go dark? Or just dim? Do I respond or ignore? Should I offer to help? Should I let her/him twist in the wind?

It's a miracle we are not all babbling alcoholics or drug addicts.

Your W reached out to you in pain and fear. You reacted like a decent man. Did you go too far with what you said? Some might say yes, some might say no. But CS hit it on the head when he said:

"...she doesn't want to be married to you right NOW."

Be aloof. Set some emotional distance. I shared an analogy in one of my earlier posts (stop me if you've heard this one already...) about an adult playfully chasing a child. As long as the adult chases, the child continues to run away. But as soon as the adult stops chasing, what happens? The child stops running away and walks back toward the adult.

Stand still and let your W close the distance. May not happen this week, this month, or even this year. May not happen at all. But as long as our WAS's feel like they are being chased they will continue to run.