My GALing and His Bailing Part 5

[Queen_of_Swords]

Lila,
In essense you learn to feed those needs in other ways.
Relying for someone else to fulfill all your needs is not realistic or even optimal.

Can you imagine the pressure someone could feel if that is your expectation?

I've had to learn to lean on my friends and family a bit more for things I would have expected from my STBX in the past.
I've had to make new alliances and exchanges with women in like situations, and find alternative ways of managing.
I've had to get cheap long distance! ( Only half kidding here. I have a good friend that lives in another city and we talk at least bi weekly if not daily.)

As for discussions...there are some things you can discuss with your H and some things you shouldn't. He doesn't have the capacity to process things the same way you do. His brain is not wired like yours. That's normal and natural, but something we women forget easily.

If you're interested in further exploring that difference, the book "Women Are Like Spaghetti, and Men Are Like Waffles" is a good one. Alternatively check out some of the youtube videos by Mark Gungor.

As for affection, the Five Love Languages by Chapman has been mentioned often here. Your expectations may be different from your BF's.

Sexual needs you will have to learn to take care of on your own if you intend your relationship to survive. No, it's not optimal and it lacks in so many ways, but it is how you can cope in the meantime, if you want your relationship to survive.