My GALing and His Bailing Part 5

[Redo]

Your BF joked that he lost his job?. Weird.

I think KD might be onto some really good advice for you.

I think some posts ago, you posted on the block party and how you and D just sat there without BF. broken family and so on. I get that. It is hard.

I am nowhere even close to being a novice on relationships [hell my first and only relationship was my wife ], so take my feedback with a grain of salt.

I think once R hit the rock, it is very hard for them pick up because both people in the R are hurt in their own ways. They want to be appreciated, loved, not judged etc. Nothing wrong with that. Problem is all these wants, needs, combined with regrets, anger about all the bad that is happening can feed into the vicious circle that is eating up the R. Now i think wants and needs are more fundamental to the human psyche. However it is regrets and anger that really nail the R. I know it because that is what happened in my marriage. At one point W was so lost that our R is going down the drain, she just kept piling up regrets. Then she would look at all these lost events and would boil up with anger. She reached a point where she could no longer let go of those regrets.

So i would say, dont hold on to any negative stuff that your BF does. I am not saying to enable him. Because if you do, when you look back, you will just see all the bad stuff he did and it would cover up any positives that exits in your R. As i said, i am not saying you should become some sage and let everything go. Give yourself some time and for that duration, no regrets, no anger on BF. Use that time to be happy with yourself.