Going N/C wish me perseverance/strength

[Queen_of_Swords]

Update -
STBX texted me yesterday, with a "Good Morning" and "money is transferred into the account." I thanked him and texted him about some strange way messenger works. He texted back about work difficulties. I said something to the effect that his employer gets what they pay for and that they should pay him more as he's worth it and not to underestimate his own worth. His response ( I charge what the market will bear) indicated to me that he did not take that well, so I backed right off.

Later I contacted him about a scheduling change with one of the kid's activities, and I mentioned I was tentatively thinking about breaking down his desk and selling it in a garage sale depending on what he wanted and what the kids wanted. Right now my youngest has it made up as a shrine to daddy and Lego and it's been sitting here since he left. It's been a constant reminder of his absence for me. He declined to take it saying I guess you should sell it.

My oldest has already said he doesn't think Dad will ever come back and is ok with the desk being gone. My youngest has hopes.

They both got enthused when I suggested the corner that would be empty could be dedicated as a space for bean bag chairs and a lamp for their reading/ gaming instead of the living room.

Damn, this hard.