So I had a few thoughts this morning I wanted to share - but then there was a HUGE blowup. Good god.
Anyway, I've been thinking about relationships to needs - that BF sees my need as too great and that it means there is lack there for him - that he's "not enough" and I am trying to show him how much I appreciate his contributions, but it's an uphill battle when he thinks he's entitled to 14 hours of free childcare a day, abusing me around money, coming home whenever he pleases, laundry, dinner made, etc. Like when I thanked him yesterday for watching D he was like "Yeah, I'm good like that." Oh dear. His version of himself is very very inflated and kind. He doesn't really see how he is ... but I guess that's the process I'm in - that awakening. Which is hard, but it's the only way for me now.
Anyway, he responds better when I have no needs - or at least he perceives me as having none.
But then what happens if he decides not to leave? I just walk around not needing anything? What about respect, love, affection, sex, discussions about our lives - those are really all the things I've "needed" from him that threw him over the edge. And then that created my swirling panicked energy - anger - outbursts.
So now that I've backed down and withhold as many needs of mine as I can, I just wonder about this.
