There has been a lot of talk about what you W did, what you did, this whole OW thing...
It is all important, but something else struck me last night...
Expectations...
We all have them, let's not lie and pretend we don't.
We try not to, we know we shouldn't, especially in these situations...
The reality is, we do, even if they are small ones...
And then, if those expectations don't get met, we get disappointed, angry, feel let down...
When they don't get met, they drain us of our hope, we get tired, we get frustrated, we look for things to make us feel better...
Personally, this is where I see you right now...
You expected your W to respond better to your changes...
She responded pretty well, but only briefly...
You set a boundary, which you expected her to respect, and she hasn't quite done that...
You went to Disney, probably looking for a better result than what you came home with...
You see the expectations not being met, and you have the R talks, trying to push your agenda (sorry for the choice of words) and when it doesn't work, you get let down...
Of course you are tired, of course you don't know what else to do...
Right now, you have to feel your feelings. And face them.
Figure out, objectivly, if your expectations were valid. If they were reasonable and doable, within your situation.
Sometimes they are and sometimes they aren't. Sometimes we expect more than a person can give us at the time. Sometimes, we just can't get what we want when we want it. Doesn't necessarily make the expectation unreasonable but it might make the timing of it unreasonable.
Don't let bad timing kill your hope.
Don't let unmet expectations be the reason you do something that you might not want to do.
Many here say move forward...
Move forward is something I wholeheartedly agree with. Move forward and live your life.
However, please keep in mind, moving forward and moving ON, are NOT the same.
They really are not. Some use the term interchangably but they aren't.
Moving forward is living. Moving on is being done. (IMO, the only time you should start dating.)
So which are you ready to do?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
