This is an aside - but so weird. I just went in and thanked BF for putting her to sleep and also for helping me this morning. He was like, "Yeah, that's what I do."
Then he said, "I got fired."
I was like, "Huh?" I knew what he said, but for a split second I actually was like OMG THANK GOD!
That is crazy. Not rational. Wow. But it just speaks to how trapped I feel here. And by him. And his job. Which I hate. Even if it does bring in 130k - though that means very little to me - but it is ... I'm ungrateful for it. I don't appreciate it. I'd rather ... work. And support us, and have more choices. If it were up to me - and it's not right now - I wouldn't live here. I hate his hours. I hate that he's never around. I hate that he hates his work and ... eh, just airing that.
Please don't come down on me for it. I really had to be honest about that and kind of air it - something for me to think about later.
