I'm very (ahem, obviously) direct with others and not passive-aggressive, so it confounds me
I guess that is where the line "Heart follows the head" comes in. In the beginning, you have to consciously force yourself to see the lighter side of things like Ken suggested. Keep doing it often and it becomes second nature.
BITS M 38 W 36 D 7 Married 15 yrs W left for 6 months in 2009 W Filed for D 01/03/11 piecing now...