Feels Like I'm In Two-a-Days

[MadeToSucceed]

Thanks jb. I actually just finished posting on your thread before coming over here.

I don't mean to get too "personal" here and I wish I could find a way to talk "offline" with you about this via email...but do you struggle incorporating DB with your faith? I do at times because many of the methods call for me doing the opposite of what is intuitive or even what I feel like my faith would have me do. I can say I've forgiven her. I know that much and yet the pain still remains. So sometimes when I want to see how she is doing, particularly now that she is injured, and I CHOOSE not to, I feel like I'm not necessarily "doing the right thing."

Even with me having a paper to write and exam tomorrow and having to scramble to get out of the house, I'm still curious to see how things are with her.

The one I have the most trouble with is when I try to end a conversation. Since most of ours are via "text," the other day I recall saying something to the effect of "Don't want to keep you. Hope your leg continues to heal." She responded, "I'm not busy. You aren't keeping me. I'm just sitting here in the hotel room." I didn't know what to say so I waited for a while and then eventually just signed off of Skype. That's when she asked what happened and then said "I'm praying for you." I guess I could throw out the "Don't want to keep you" parts and just make up an excuse to get off but again, that's the part I struggle with. I just hate the games and having to lie myself. I don't like dabbling in that but I understand it's part of some of the DB process. Just tough for me to find a comfortable balance.