Wow, MK - very sweet and kind advice. I am getting to the places you are talking about slowly but surely.
Yesterday the stuff with my family was a big wakeup call. I feel controlled by that stuff and "hostage" to it and trapped by all these people. My fault, but I don't want to feel that way anymore. I am imagining how things could have gone differently - and I'm getting it more now and eager to put it into practice.
I'm also thinking of allowing - what I like to allow and what I don't want to allow - I like allowing thoughts of Italy, I like allowing my work to flow and money to flow, I like allowing being a good mom and my friends who are great connections. I like allowing love, and naps, and neighbors and movies.
All the rest? It's kind of like you said - you just don't sweat it - I almost imagine to the point where it doesn't register. Like is it italy? My being a better mom? my friends, etc. And just let it go.
But I also like having very simple boundaries "that feels hurtful to me." Or "please don't do that in front of me." (those aren't perfect, b/c I've used them on BF before and it seems to somehow encourage more beahvior - but I hope we can talk about that in MC)
BTW - just scheduled our first MC appt which is actually not for two more weeks. But that's fine. This week I need to break from this a while, and next we may go away - then D turns 2, etc. and if he is still on his way out the door, I feel okay with that prospect again. So I'm less panicked about it.
Anyway, the zero year is interesting. I do have the guilt of missing precious time with my D and I feel tremendous sadness over it. But part of me goes - would it be better to have been running off to Italy this year or ignoring all this? I mean, it's a huge growth experience for me and I am grateful for it -
The toxic stuff I'm trying to practice blowing out from my mouth - just keeping it outside of me, and also doing some visualization/mediation and breathing at least once a day, which is really really nice.
