I think you burn up the emotional fuel by having too many R talks. (Oh how I know) I think that is one good reason to avoid them. I can see you are on empty with a lot of things - patience, loneliness, etc.
That's why I think people were suggesting some sort of time out. it was as much for you as for your W. It's hard to sit and just wait and watch. But sometimes that's all there is to do. But with the time out, you have to distract yourself (with things other than the OW) Heck you live in Colorado. Go camping for a long weekend where there is no cell service.
This time apart is a gift to you and the M. If you look at it that way it's hard to be resentful of that kind of gift.
At times, it feels like we are hostages to our W's "decision." But in reality we too have a choice. We are choosing to continue.
BTW I relate to your story. I knew a girl from when I went to elementary school. We got along great and when I saw her at my reunion we picked up like the years were never between us (Although it was purely platonic so I viewed her more as sisterly)
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
