When my wife finally moved out, I ran as fast as I could to find the next "wife" for me. I ended up meeting the most wonderful woman you could imagine. She was everything I wanted. Everything that was missing in my marriage. It was the best 8 months I ever could imagine. Then it happened...My insomnia, my anxiety everything came back. I thought that i wasn't in love. I broke it off. i ran from her. I spent the next 3 months staring at the walls wondering why I couldn't love, why I couldn't feel anything. I called her up, she took me back. Things still weren't exactly right until it finally hit me...
I am not healed yet. I had built up so many walls in my marriage so I wouldn't get hurt. I didn't like the person I became. If I didn't like myself or I didn't feel whole, how can I be with someone else and share a life. To Mach's point, you have to heal yourself. I am lucky that I this woman that i met is understanding and patient. She has been through it herself. But there is a reason why second marriages fail so much. People aren't ready..The OW fills a void and they don't need to go through all the stages. Well, you do have to go through all the stages. Otherwise, it will come back to haunt you later...I tried skipping a few and it came back to haunt me....
Take your time, slow down. Learn how to live again. Learn what makes you happy. If this OW is worth it, she will understand and be patient with you.
But don't rush into things. You need to heal. You may not even understand what part needs healing, but it hit me like a ton of bricks when it did...
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
