Just Be

[Denver_2010]

"this is why some of us believe so strongly that the time for boundaries is EARLY, not later on"


Adultery is wrong...

And in our pain...

Our desire to keep our S...

We are too ready to overlook the lies...

The cheating...

The ultimate disrespect...

Forgive without accountability or consequence...


And we allow them to place ALL the blame on us...


Sorry, doesn't work that way!


Boundaries First... M second!

SBH - Please don't use my thread to promote your philosophy on this stuff. I get your position on all of it. By all means, start a new thread so it can be discussed.

I don't mean to be a jerk about this, but I'm tired of being told how to define my W's R with OM... and I'm tired of being told that I am weak for handling my situation the way that I've handled it.

I have a different view of things... MY situation. That's all.

The reason that I am responding this way SBH is because your post is more of a sermon on adultery, how it is wrong, and how it shouldn't be put up with, than it is an opinion on how I should proceed in my particular sitch...

Which I believe that you stated in your previous post... 'MOVE ON'...

So I get it. But I don't think that you fully understand my particular situation or my position on all of this.

Thanks,
Denver

^^^^ I'm quoting the above just so it doesn't get missed.

Harrier... I think that you are right. Unfortunately. OW and I made a connection because we went to school together literally from kindergarten through h.s. graduation. We reconnected about 9 years ago and went on a few dates. I met W and ended things with OW. This is why it was so easy for OW and I to make a connection during my h.s. reunion weekend.

Do I think it is a mistake? I'm beginning to.

I've been at this for going on 9 months. I'm frustrated. I'm hurt. And quite frankly, I'm running out of emotional fuel... All of this is causing me to consider other things.

The bottom line, whether or not I pursue anything with OW, is that I need to move on with my life as if W will not be a part of it. I need to let her live her life and see where the chips fall.

My biggest concerns with OW are:

1) that I hurt OW needlessly

2) that I go back on what I have stood for for the past 8-9 months... i.e. that I do exactly what my W did when she left me (as you point out).

I am struggling right now. That's all I can say. Trying to figure it all out.

BITS
Denver