Feeling alone and frustrated with a 180.

[Psych77]

Sorry, Sandi. I was kind of mixing my metaphors when I wrote that. Have you started reading DB or DR yet?

The books outline a 7 step program, and step number 3 is to ask for what you want. But only after step 2, which is figuring out what you want. Step 2 offers guidance in refining what you are hoping to get in your marriage. First, rather than a complaint, it has to be a positive thing you want. Second, it has to be specific - something you or your spouse (or both) can concretely do. Third, you have to take that goal and whittle it down to the smallest demonstration that would show that the marriage is moving in the direction you want it to go. If what you really want is to have a warm, romantic spouse, you might need to start with spouse smiling at you once every day. That is what you ask for.

So, I imagine you can see how I thought of what I was asking for as a "baby step" in the direction of what I wanted. And, just as Step 3 instructs, I asked for it.

And JTB, thanks for the cheerleading! It really is encouraging.