You say no you aren't a victim, and your BF isn't. Sorry, you speak like a classic victim.
Lila,
You have had this pointed out by many many people on here, which tells me I am not the only one seeing this, people who have been around here a long time. People who have identified these things in themselves and actually done something about them.
Every time someone posts something you don't want to hear, you ask them to stop or accuse them of being mean.
You have driven a lot of people who could actually help you away from your thread.
I have nothing more to offer because you simply don't want to hear it.
I commend the others who are going to choose to stick around and attempt to get through to you, although I don't believe it will happen.
I hope that someday, you can take the time to see in yourself what others see in you and actually have the desire to do something about it...
Good luck...
and Gabby, you have really come a long long way...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox