I know meeting with him is going to be hard, but my advice would be go in to that meeting looking and smelling great and with as much confidence as you can muster.
Keep it business, make sure you have your facts and figures in front of you. Do not bring up R talk. If he does validate where you can and do not try to defend yourself. Just listen to him, you may gain a good bit of insight. Remember, validating does not mean you're agreeing with him, just that you understand it is his perception. If he asks questions that you're not prepared to answer just tell him you need time to think about it.
I would not bring pics of the kids. It has been his choice not to see them. I would not reward him for that with pictures of them or try to use them to guilt him.
Remember what the meeting is for at all times. It's making sure you and your children get what you need to live. If he's not willing to give you that at least you have legal info to go on. BTW, keep your meeting with the L to yourself. Do not use it as a threat to him.
Good luck. You can do this. Please let us know how it goes for you.
