Loving, Listening, and Letting Go..

[aeolianchaos]

she is making herself feel better right now - she doesn't sound ready to own her stuff or even really see it right now - it's almost like to her, it's this nebulous pain but she doesn't know what

I think she is trying to. I'm doing my best to acknowledge what seems like "selective presentation" statements without positively reinforcing those parts of it.

Part of me does worry that she is acting this way just to try and smooth things over. I know it really doesn't matter - but I have a definite bias for information that would make it seem like she is trying to confront herself. In her own way. At the same time, she has been quite resolute about wanting a D since she left. So... I'm doing my best to act and think as if that is the case while at the same time I know that I want to be married to her and can see potential paths forward in that direction.

I run into problems/worries when I start to think about if there was something I could say to change her mind. I can't. I need to be working on my own stuff and when i'm around her, work on my own stuff too - not work on her or her stuff. Those are hers, and while my own stuff includes listening and taking responsibility for my role, it isn't my job to fix her problems, or even point them out for her at this point. That is the exquisite place in the moment, where I have to look whats happening right in the face, and be okay with it.