I have been following your story since January and I have had so many similar things happen to me this past month, even the same words from my H about being scared, etc. Only difference is we still have a physical R. I kept reading your above post in hopes that it would be a positive outcome that you have worked so hard for. I was also hoping that something in it would help click for me too. You do have a positive outcome though. You have moved forward and accepted what is. I hope to be a fortunate as you and come to that acceptance stage. It seems as if you are embarking on a new future with so much knowledge that your next R with another W will benefit from.
Best of luck--
H:41 W:44 D1:19 D2:17 S:13 D3:7 T:20 M:18 Bomb:1/5/11 Sep:2/18/11 No D filed yet; just threats