My feelings are changing...sitch isn't

[AntoniaB]

Tad, I think that what's going on now is testing you, in a way. I'm not saying she is deliberately testing you, but in a way you're being tested, for one reason. Go back and see that within the past two weeks, she sang a very different tune with you--one that was filled with venom and accusations. Now suddenly she's calm and collected and willing to talk nicely.

The reason I say you're being "tested" is that this COULD be progress, or it could be part of the MLC script, and I don't want you to get too caught up in her recent niceties and think this definitely means she's on the road back to you, because they do this sort of thing, MLCers, all the time.

I don't want you to crash again--and I say this because at about 8 months, after a long period of anger and accusations and very callous treatment from my XH, a few things happened that shifted my interactions with XH where he was being friendly. We had some nice long conversations on the phone or email, just about the house or jobs or whatever. And we were getting along. But pretty soon, I realized that I was taking a lot of "hope" from how nice things were that he was coming back, and when a week or two into this, I got the divorce papers, I was crushed beyond belief.

I guess my advice to you is consider how volatile her behavior is, and take it with a grain of salt unless or until it becomes something permanent and is NOT accompanied by things like divorce papers and such. Be happy that she is being nicer and that you're talking, but don't assume that it means anything. For an MLCer, the "everything is normal" face is a part of their world just as much as the venom or accusations. "Getting along" helps them feel like they didn't destroy the marriage, and they are all about hiding from their guilt.

So just be careful...