Had a nice weekend overall and interaction with H was good. He has commented a few times about the "new" Chances. Interesting choice of words but obviously noticing the 180's and real changes.
I am DBing and trying to make it permanent changes for me, with a few backslides from time to time. Overall I am feeling really good about my changes regardless of the final outcome with my M.
Since we do still live together and share a bed, the emotional distance that happens from time to time is very noticeable and hurtful. DB helps with that a lot. I've noticed that Monday mornings are a trigger, and he really pulls back after a nice weekend.
I've been tested on multiple occasions recently and DB has kep me from sabotaging myself every time. One of the issues he has had, was that he never went anywhere or did anything. Somehow this was my fault even though I wasn't aware of the things that he was asked to do. So in the past few days he now has 3 separate trips planned and I know he is waiting for an argument or discussion. One is a car show that he and a buddy have gone to before, another is a bachelor party and a work trip that is actually just golfing. I kept my response short and upbeat "yep the calendar is clear, I am not traveling for work and have a great time" He absolutely noticed the difference.
But now I also need to work on boundaries without un-doing the DBing that I have done. I don't think it will be healthy to be gone 3 out of 4 weekends. I feel like there is some cake eating there. I'm at a loss though.
I would love any suggestions you may have for me. Am I not seeing this as clearly as an outsider would?
