Waiting to PIECE. No PEACE when waiting

[Sad_but_happy]

9,

You sound like a good dude, and to be honest, what you did is absolutely fine in the confines of a healthy relationship.

But your relationship is SOOOO far from healthy as is your W and possibly yourself.

Individual help and growth for you, and your W. Note the word INDIVIDUAL!!!

Than maybe you can get your M back on track.

It will take strength 9, but it is the best gift you can give yourself, your W and your M...

[Gnosis]

I asked her point blank if she missed him

You have a death wish don't you?

I do want to show her that I can be NICER than OM and that I did miss her and want to make up for some of my shortcomings from before.

You are right Gnosis, i am persuing to some degree

To some degree? I'd say about 356 degrees. The other 4... heck... those happened by mistake.

but am nervous that she will regret her decision to leave OM if I m not nice.

You're not learning anything... She DOES NOT WANT NICE

Talked about her new therapist, who i know fairly well, and that she says that my W is not content unless there is turmoil. That she grew up in the type of environment and only knows drama and turmoil.

^^^^^ THAT is what she wants. GIVE IT TO HER!!!

Do yourself a favor and think about that....

She is unhealthy. She has POOR self-image. She doesn't believe she deserves you. And you know what? She is right... because Mr Nine tails REFUSES to give her the opportunity to work FOR him and INSISTS on giving her his all for nothing.

Do you think people value what they get for free?

[Telemark]

"i really hesitated to post that as it makes me sound like a degenerate and i felt like i was. I need therapy in that dept."

I believe "healthy human being" would be more appropriate. Any man on this board who says he does not crave intimacy and physical contact with his WAS is a liar.

Ninelives, I've been reading your sitch for a while and my jaw was dropping as I read the horror story that was the relationship between your W and the pig OM. And the sitch with your parents just adds more crap to the crap pile.

I completely understand your desire to hold and protect your W, but I think you are making the road back home a little too smooth. Yes, your W has gone through hell, but so have you and your family. Gnosis makes a good point in saying she needs to work her way back in and not get a free pass.

Regardless of the issues our WAS's are dealing with, we should not lose sight of our self-esteem and self-respect.

[Gnosis]

I'd like to add one more thing... Which would you say is better:

1) Her thinking about OM and wanting him back

OR

2) Her thinking about you and what to do to get YOU back

[Denver_2010]

Hey nine. Just read your post on 2step's thread. I completely understand feeling like you don't have the energy to post updates. Sometimes we don't have the emotional energy to rehash the things that are going on. Completely understandable.

Take care of you. Update us when you can.

BITS
Denver

[♪CS♪]

9, hope you're doing well.

Just a word of warning.

I understand things are crazy right now.

I understand you are worn out.

But just a reminder. You are at the most critical stage of your sitch than you have ever been before.

This is wear the rubber meets the road.

So no backing off now OK? Stay strong.

Was this Spaceballs or History of the World Part I?

"This is not the end. This is not the beginning of the end. This is the end of the beginning"

[♪CS♪]

Ok. Seriously need an edit button "wear"

Good lord

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Or Winston Churchill after the victory at the second battle of El Alhamin. : )

[♪CS♪]

Or Winston Churchill after the victory at the second battle of El Alhamin. : )

Whatever.

Some of us get our history lessons from Mel Brooks movies.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

No Child Left Behind eh?