There's a bunch of us here at the same crossroads...dg, you (GALman), jbnati, any chance?, luvmyhubby, paige40, a girl..(sorry if I missed anyone - speak up if I did!)
Accountability...that is what we all need to practice with each other. Like dg said in an earlier post, this forum has been a lifesaver for me - for us. Even though we have never met face-to-face, we all feel a connection here that has helped keep us afloat.
Sorry to hijack, dg, but I thought it was worth saying.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
DG..I am sorry you are going through this. You know we all love you and want the best for you. I want you to make your decision with open eyes, heart, and mind. I though my ex and I had a chance to work everything out. The things she did tell me when we did communicate gave me hope. What I didn't know was that she was already in a relationship with someone else and was just doing what she had to do to keep me hanging. She still got whatever she asked for from me. Don't believe ANYTHING your H tells you. If you think your H is having a PA with this woman, then he probably is. Don't try to convince yourself over the next week or two that he isn't.
Those of us that DB get usually get hurt (at least) twice in the process. The first is when we get the initial "I want a divorce". The second is when we realize that we couldn't save our marriage and it is completely over. The second time is a lot easier to deal with as we have all learned skills through this process to help ourselves. It still hurts though.
I hope I don't sound callous. I just want to give you a not so rosey view of all of this. Everything you have wrote to us about your H tells me that he is extremely selfish and doesn't care about how you feel. He wants everything he can get and will take it all if you let him. You need to take care of you (and your children). Maybe you taking the next step will make him realize what he has done. Maybe it's too late for that. Just take care of you DG.
There's a bunch of us here at the same crossroads...dg, you (GALman), jbnati, any chance?, luvmyhubby, paige40, a girl..(sorry if I missed anyone - speak up if I did!)
You guys can have your own crossroads... mine is cooler. It's in Winslow AZ
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
The more I think about things, the more I feel like I'm an idiot for not wanting to end my M. I mean, seriously, the guy tells me that he gets hugs and kisses every day because he is struggling and hurting? What kind of kissing? What kind of hugs? And why is he seen in a store, holding her hand, yet he goes on FB and rants that people are twisting things to make it sound like something it isn't?
I just don't know what to do. I love this man, I really do...but he also hasn't shown any inkling of wanting to reconcile or even TALK for that matter.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
Only crossroads I know is where Bluesman (Robert Johnson) made a deal with the devil.
That said, I'm in the same boat that seems to be taking on water as fast I can pump it out.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
I mean, seriously, the guy tells me that he gets hugs and kisses every day because he is struggling and hurting? What kind of kissing? What kind of hugs?
I know what you mean, DG. You really don't want to feel sorry for him because he is putting you through h3ll by his actions.
I got more hugs last week from juvenile detainees than I've gotten from my W in the last 6 months. I get more hugs on a Sunday morning at church as well. That being said, we're in this together.
