One foot out the door, the other on a rug....

[luvmyhubby]

Hello everyone..
I am very new here...my wife left me June 5th.....while I was out of town....upon my return to my home.....half the stuff was gone....while reading the dear John letter....there was a knock at the door....and yes you are right I was served D papers and an Order of protection for violence.......
Here's the thing....I never saw it coming and I have never been violent in my life.
Everyone is floored...including her own family.....I have not talked to her in 5weeks due to the protection and my lawyers advice....the pain is so great I have to remind myself to breath....
I have seached the net and have not come across this situation....I can't be the only one.
She never told her best friend or only sister......her mother which I talked to today for the first time in since the bomb was clueless other than she knew she moved out. She has completely left all our friends.....no one has heard from her and she has not return V-mail.....

What do I do? I got a lawyer three weeks ago....he said ....dude it's over. I can't except this after 9 years of M......there is more I am just tired of typing...

Please help me through this!!

Fate,
Im sorry I am just now replying.. My brother had a similar issue and his was done however he didnt try to db. For you I would start the db'ing not because it will save your marriage but because it DOES make you better. Mine seems over but the db'ing has really brought me to a new level.

I would first read the books if you havent and possibly hire a coach if you can afford it. They give you things to do that put in into control. Control of yourself and the person you want to be.

-Do you have children?
-Was there some blow up that would cause her to put the order in?
-Drugs, alchohol?

Start to work on you and when you get the opportunity to interface with your S again it will show. They do notice even if it doesnt make them change their mind.

Also you cannot change their mind or cry and beg to get them to reconsider. Making this type of step is huge for the WAS so it takes a lot to get them to reconsider in my opinion.

Im sorry for your pain! I know it hurts and it will get better i promise it does take time.