Huge eye opener-How do I approach WAW

[DoggySector]

Hello folks, I had to take a break for awhile as this is all very overwhelming for me. My father died on May 9th my wife has left me. Tommorrow I go to court for my divorce. My WAS is very angry and had me served last week. She texted me today and said, "expect a miserable day tommorrow."

I am just going to work and I go to Church. Someone told me to go on a date and dating is about as appealing as running my finger nails across a chalk board, yuck. I am in no shape to date or anything. I would be no good for anyone. I would not care if it was Katy Perry, I would not be interested. I have no chance of ever eliciting anything is my WAW unless I deal with my anger once and for all. Again I don't know why I get angry. I do know that there are some things that exacerbate my anger and one thing is caffeine, chocolate, alcohol (although I drink very little). When I exercise consistently I tend to be more calm. But that monkey is always on my back.

I was once diagnosed with "paranoid personality disorder" Now that sounds alot worse than it is. It is not a form of psychosis but a neurosis and considered a character disorder.

Basically people with this disorder are insecure, hyper-sensitive,have unwarranted feelings of betrayal, difficulties forming friendships and intimacy because they think everyone is trying to screw them over. Yes I tend to feel this way, however i have gotten better over the years. I don't think that everyone out there has my worst in mind. I have matured since I am a bit older now.

I still hurt pretty bad. My WAW would not let me see my son over the weekend. As big of a mouth as I have I have never been physical or a stalker or anything like that. I promise. I just have a big mouth that runs off all the time when I am mad. I am an expert at really pissing off people.

I hope everyone had a decent weekend.

Dog