"I'm already working on GAL (plans with friends the nights I don't have S7, trying out for a local chorus, yoga, lots of reading - which sounds boring but I love and never had time for)"
The reading and the chorus are good ideas for a GAL activity's. Again to me the first thing you should have is a GAL activity that pulls your mind out of things. Had I learned this earlier in my stitch it would have made worlds of difference I think. But I am hard headed and liked to punish myself. The friends are OK if you can all get together and not talk about "everything".
If things go the normal route in your stitch.. which I would expect they would.. the things you have coming down the road is what you will be preparing for. Somehow it always seems there are slow times and busy times. The ups and downs also effect the "Drama" that you feel. My idea or what I try to get people to understand is that in the downtime's you prepare for the next "Drama Scene". I would love to see you standing up straight.. with a smile on your face.. acting smartly and reflecting the "Drama" right back at him. The second you do it.. you will "see" a change in him. It will enable you to take control.
"I've gone fairly dark with H"
Which is not the same as "Going Dark". Most likely it is just an emotional reaction to what is going on. He has had an affair.. and now lives with OW. A natural reaction to that is going to be not to interact with him much. You are naturally going to "distance" yourself. You talking with the OWH is you closing that distance emotionally. You are feeding the monster so to speak. "Going Dark" is a non emotional choice. It is an act that creates a boundary. Very few people actually pull off going dark. Especially this early in the "stitch"
"I'm getting my ducks in order for possible filing for D (parenting plan, etc)."
Until you decide if you are in or out.. it is not your job to move things forward. It is good to have protections in place but that is about it. Talking to a L is good.. having a plan is good. Just don't go forward with anything. I don't think I have read where he has served you papers yet. You prepare.. let him Work.
"I was pleasant and friendly, joked with him a little, and it was clear that he was enjoying my company. I think he would have stayed longer, packing stuff up and sort of "hanging out", but he ran out of boxes, I just said, 'Probably best to empty those and reuse them next trip - you have all the kitchen essentials you came for, anyway.'
Feeling oddly at peace with it. Not sure where I'm going tonight, emotionally, but I'm finding the positives in having the house to myself, and that helps."
This was a good interaction. I removed the fluff to make your statement more clear. Read it again.. Why did this situation "Work" for you? What did you gain from this situation?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
