I know, I know - it's about me and improving myself. I just feel like I am going nowhere. All of a sudden this situation is on my mind all day from waking to going to sleep. I am constantly going over it and blaming myself for everything little thing I have ever done wrong in the relationship that I feel caused her to walk out. I feel like I can't move on or go forward without her in my life. It is probably compounded by the fact that she gets back from the US tomorrow so I expect there will be more action from the lawyers again and she will start progressing action.
M 35 W 31 Separated 2/2011 but still together Ended it 4/2011 Together 8 yrs Married 3.5 yrs Lawyers involved 6/2011
So my wife got back from America on Tuesday and just texted me this morning to say: "hi, hope you've been well. Just wanted to let you know I'm back in town. Hope you have a great birthday this weekend" Not sure what to make of this or whether I repond or not. I confused as to why she would even contact me to tell me that given everything she has done. Any thoughts??
M 35 W 31 Separated 2/2011 but still together Ended it 4/2011 Together 8 yrs Married 3.5 yrs Lawyers involved 6/2011
I don't know what to say for sure, but sounds like she is just trying to be "nice" to you because of your b-day.
My W left a week before my b-day and called me on my b-day to wish me a happy b-day.
She is still gone (2 months) and doesn't show any interest in getting back with me.
I think that maybe in your and my case the LRT (last resort technique) is the way to go.
We'll see what other, more experienced people have to say.
In the mean time, just hang in there and I don't recommend responding to her message right away or she will think all you are doing is waiting for her to contact you and that you haven't moved on with your life at all.
Thanks Country. I just responded with 'Welcome back, hope you had a nice trip" To which she said "Thanks the trip and wedding were great!"
Not sure why she would make contact to let me know she's back in town. I will be shattered if that's her birthday contact for me - a text message two days out.
M 35 W 31 Separated 2/2011 but still together Ended it 4/2011 Together 8 yrs Married 3.5 yrs Lawyers involved 6/2011
Do yourself a favor, Cam, and don't make anything out of her contact other than she's hoping you will be friendly during the D procedures of dividing property. It's just like in high school when a girl breaks up with a guy and wants to remain friends.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks Sandi, that makes sense. I'm not sure what to read into it. A couple of my friends think it's because she may be wanting some attention, given I have made no contact for nearly 3 weeks. Also that she has returned from America and realizes that she is coming back to nothing here now, no family and has lost all "our friends" Previously she has had her lawyers say that if things get worse between us, ie me calling and begging her all the time, then all contact would go through lawyers. So I don't understand why she would contact me for no reason.
M 35 W 31 Separated 2/2011 but still together Ended it 4/2011 Together 8 yrs Married 3.5 yrs Lawyers involved 6/2011
Feeling like she just misses me as a friend and misses my company and that's probably it. She knows how I feel and I guess if it meant more than that, she would spell it out. I've put my heart on the line in letting her know how I feel, so she would do the same if she feels this way too. So hard trying to pretend to be friends with her. This is what Chuck (my DB Coach) said I should do - act friendly and treat her like a sister. Very difficult to maintain without telling her my feelings.
M 35 W 31 Separated 2/2011 but still together Ended it 4/2011 Together 8 yrs Married 3.5 yrs Lawyers involved 6/2011
