Angel, I think it's ok to be where we are. I sometimes have pangs of hurt, and think back to all he's done and I ask myself why on God's green earth would I even want the guy?
I mean there's nothing really good to say about him right now. When we were having dinner at my D's last night the news was on and they were talking about a massage parlor that they shut down for prostitution and my SIL jokingly said, SO, (MY HUSBAND'S NAME), where are you going to go now? It was very quiet and I just kinda looked at my SIL and rolled my eyes back in my head and then he realized what he said was not in very good taste considering my H past. He sadi he was sorry and that he should not have said that and my H had the nerve to make a snotty comment about me, saying "it doesn't matter what you say around her." I didn't say ANYTHING! He just saw my expression and did not like it. Well, TOO BAD!
I completely ignored him and what he said and kept having a great time with my grandkids and my H was quiet and mad the rest of the evening so as soon as I helped do the dishes, I said I was tired and going home.
I said goodbye to every one and my H said goodbye in a nasty tone. This is what he does best. He does not take ANY responsibility for his actions, and gets mad and blames me when things get tense.
I used to get all upset and worried and call him and try to get him not to be mad at me. Now I say, "Screw him!" I could care less what he thinks, and I'm SURE not taking responsibility for his feelings ANYMORE.
He holds grudges for a long time, but he will be surprised when he realizes I DON'T CARE! I'm NOT going to try to "FIX" it or him.
He can stay mad, I don't give a flying fig anymore! Rachael
