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[Lonely in SLC]

There is a reason that I share this story. I now know what I have to do. History has a way of repeating itself. I must give her up like I did before. The only difference is that she is the one breaking up with me, but has asked me to have faith in her. She needs time to heal and work on herself.

Like so very long ago, I need to give her up and focus on myself. I am reminded of how difficult it was the first time, how I cried for days. I truly believe that she is my eternal companion, my soulmate. I never would have imagined that I would find myself in the same situation 14 years afterwards.

But this is where I am. I still do not agree with her choices, but I need to find the positives. I had failed with certain aspects in my marriage. I still have a long way to go to become the man I wish to be. I now have the time, and the constant reminder of the importance to do this.

As I look at the open book of my life, I scan the pages that have already been written. I will smile at the good points, and I will learn from both my mistakes and my successes. I look forward to the empty white pages still waiting to be filled. There is a clarity now, that the next few chapters to come will greatly impact the rest of my life when the book is finally closed and sealed.

Will I look back at this point of my life and ask why did I wallow in sorrow, and question my Father in Heaven "Why me!" Will this cause me to become bitter towards life, loose faith in others and my God, and forget the joy and loose the blessings that I can still achieve.

Or will I look back at this point of my life with a smile, realizing that I was a better man for it. That my prayers to my Heavenly Father were "What will you have me learn through this experience and bless me to have the strength to endure it well."

Shall I look back at this time of my life with fondness, saying to myself, "This is when I learned to have empathy towards others, patience, and faith in my God. Will I look back at this valley of my life amazed at the inner strength I possessed, for strength and character are only revealed through trials.

All other trials will seem minimal compared to this. Future success will be assured, depending on my next few steps.