Wiil di. Thanks. Anxious to get it done. Also need money to support us. I'm feeling jealous or hopeless as I read other threads and it seems most people have some sort of contact with their S. Not me. Its like we don't exist. No talk about finances or future. Anyone else experience this?
I have seldom contact with my H. Sadly, we don't even co-parent. At times, contact comes in spurts, only in the form of email. Then we'll go weeks w/o.
It's been almost 2 years since BD and H living with ow. I am detached enough at this point where I sometimes watch with mild interest, but no expectations.
I would suggest you read Imlin's threads. Your stories sound similar. Not to give you false hope, but she and her H are reconciled.
Thank u. For some reason I feel like my sitch is a little stranger or more unusual than others. Maybe just feeling hopeless and hurt. Realizing he's in even deeper than I thought!!
This is now weighing heavily on me! Just when I am doing well at GAL H pulls this crap. Now, I am wodering, is this all we meant to him?!? Nothing? To pull his financial support now too? It hurts.
How soon can things get rolling on H paying support if I work with the courts starting tomorrow?
I know it hurts. I'm going to ask you something. Would you have ever believed that the man you married and the father of your children would ever do something like this?
I will tell you that yes, MLC does get worse before it gets better.
How soon things get rolling will depend on your state's laws concerning this. I believe most take it seriously and will get the ball rolling right away.
Thank you both SA and Brooklyn. I will not ever understand and need to quit trying to.
Spoke with a lawyer and he said as long as he pays the bills just leave everything alone. If not, I have to file and then they will draw up an agreement that would include what he needs to be paying. Would take about a month to go into effect.
With the county- 4-6 months!!
So I called H today to find out why he did move the $. He said he wanted to make sure bills are being paid. Hmmm... maybe. I suggested and he agreed we need to talk about finances. Meeting this week. I will be prepared. He said after he had looked at our acct he thought I was pulling money to get a lawyer. Not true I said. I don't want a D. That is all that was said. So, any advice on meeting with H? I plan to be calm and cool. THe no tears will be hard. Just hearing his voice brings so much pain back.
bumping this up! Please see earlier post also- Please keep in mind I haven't seen him in over 3 months. Would it be a good idea to bring recent pics of the kids? Or, is this strictly business??
I know meeting with him is going to be hard, but my advice would be go in to that meeting looking and smelling great and with as much confidence as you can muster.
Keep it business, make sure you have your facts and figures in front of you. Do not bring up R talk. If he does validate where you can and do not try to defend yourself. Just listen to him, you may gain a good bit of insight. Remember, validating does not mean you're agreeing with him, just that you understand it is his perception. If he asks questions that you're not prepared to answer just tell him you need time to think about it.
I would not bring pics of the kids. It has been his choice not to see them. I would not reward him for that with pictures of them or try to use them to guilt him.
Remember what the meeting is for at all times. It's making sure you and your children get what you need to live. If he's not willing to give you that at least you have legal info to go on. BTW, keep your meeting with the L to yourself. Do not use it as a threat to him.
Good luck. You can do this. Please let us know how it goes for you.
Got it. I think the hardest will be to stayed focused and not be thinking of him in bed with OW as we r talking. How does a person get THAT out of your mind?
