LL..I understand how Rachel is feeling and understand your point, too. I was where Rachel is and am getting to where you are now...but it takes time. I am still detached with an I don't give a damn attitude because although I am no longer angry...I am still hurt. Fresh wounds smart. We all know that. Yes, it is better to be detached with love...but it is difficult...remember? YOU are doing a great job and I am inspired by you....but I don't know if I can take much more from my H...abuse is abuse is abuse. Leaving someone two days after Christmas without warning...lying and saying it's just for a week when it's for a month at the very least and part of it is an extended vacation with a thousand dollars cash when he's left me with only 200 dollars cash...well, it's HARD to detach with love ....I myself am in self protect mode...am getting storage unit boxing up my important personal items and have gone dark on him other than a few emails...changed phone number and passworded it so even though he is on bill he can't even get the number here...he wants time away...he can have it...and so can I without being called names or intimidated ...and I am going out now and then again with friends who know I can't drink to bars....safe friends who support me not drinking but still having fun....and it's been great for my self esteem...getting hit on and saying no thanks...cash flow is extremely low..but not drinking I am a cheap date for myself....most places don't charge for soda or coffee...especially if they think you are the designated driver....LOL...
Whoops...hijacked your thread...sorry! BACK to you...YOU are doing a great job..keep your PMA up and keep doing what you need to do and don't do a thing more...you're right some things you can't stop doing..but you don't always have to answer the phone and you don't always have to be available for conversation or play time for him...you have the right to detach with love....I hope I can get to that place before it is really too late...but I fear it is already too late for me and my H....hugs...Akgal...know you are in my prayers...I wish you everything you truly desire....you get my award for DETACHES WITH LOVE DB'er of the DAY
