I vividly remember when the sex therapist told me that my 60-year old wife was acting like a rebellious teenager so that she could make me assume a "parent-like" role. I remember so many times that she tried to pick fights with me and how good I felt when I was able to just tell her that I wasn't interested in fighting with her, but would love to seriously talk to her.
Your MLC-wife may be just acting out to get some kind of reaction out of you. She (on one level) probably knows that you are frustrated with your marriage and she is afraid of opening herself up to the pain she will feel if the marriage ends, so she may try to remain distant. She may be testing you to see if she should commit to changing and maturing out of her MLC. Then again......
Next time this happens try saying something that focuses on the real underlying issues/fears. You might try a response like, "...rather than testing my faithfulness to you, why don't we talk about what you are really afraid of and how much I always have been committed to make this marriage work for the both of us? I really do want you, love you and want us to be happy, but I also need you to commit to trying make this marriage work."
Again, I am projecting my experiences on you and your wife and that may be wrong, as you know her and her situation best.
It might be easier for a marriage counselor to ask those kinds of questions.
Focus on your GAL, improve yourself, look first to yourself in meeting you happiness and needs. Good luck
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
