It is how you choose to view it. Like you said, you can take control and say here, I don't want your things in my house or say come see how miserable I am, how scared how much I miss you. I must say when you are in the midst of this hell you don't see how much the latter attitude hurts your cause. It hurts you by keeping you stuck and by keeping you in this unattractive helpless mentality.
If you can get all of his junk out on the yard. When he gets there ask if that is everything and when it is lock up the house and head out for some you time. Go meet a friend for iced tea or head off to a movie. Hang in there. It does get easier, I promise.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
