Albuquerque living part 3:Strapped in for the ride

[Albuquerque]

Journaling,

Back from our cruise. It was amazing. We had a great time. I think H continues to find it strange how we just don't really fight much anymore. I used to blow up at stupid little things which caused him to often walk on eggshells. I feel like I can rationally discuss things now and it just works so much better.

In a strange way, this whole MLC event resulted in me being able to enjoy something like a cruise SO much more. We've cruised in the past. And I never considered doing anything unless we did it together. So there would be lots of things that I was interested in that I never did. This time, if H took a nap, I was out doing whatever I wanted. I owe my thanks to learning how to GAL and detachment.

H seemed very relaxed throughout the entire trip. And very affectionate. He told me many times that he really likes taking trips with me. We talked about cruising again, but with my parents next time since they've never taken a cruise.

Once at home, we both promptly posted pics on FB and he posted many pics of the two of us. That was a first since we really haven't had much pictures taken of the two of us in a loooong time. I made my pics available to "friends of friends" since a lot of H's friends might want to see. What I found interesting is that it appears x-OW unblocked me on FB. I'm not sure why. But as a result, she can probably see both of our pics since we still have a mutual friend (not H). She is still in contact with a lot of H's coworkers and may have known about the cruise. Maybe that's why she unblocked me? Who knows. In the end, it doesn't matter.

As we were just chilling at the house last night, it kind of struck me how comfortable I feel at home now. When H first moved back, things were very uncomfortable. I'd gotten used to living on my own, as had he. And finding our groove again has taken some time. Plus he was having major anxiety issues all the time. I haven't really seen any major issues lately. He seemed slightly off last night but our house still has a lot of extra furniture (due to his moving back) that he needs to deal with. He's said it causes his some anxiety. Before, it was because he'd question whether he was doing the right thing by moving back. Now it seems it's more just pissing him off that stuff is still out of place.

So it's back to the grind and soon enough, D will be back in school. I've tried to make vague attempts to figure out what H wants to do for our anniversary, but I haven't really gotten anywhere. Last year, he was in the midwest with the OW while I dealt with the very difficult day. So this time, it seems weird in a way. Not sure whether to go all out or go low key. I almost wish we could just have some other day be our anniversary now. Ah well. For now, I'll be thankful for what I have and we'll see what happens!