Going N/C wish me perseverance/strength

[Queen_of_Swords]

So went through DR again along with "Wednesday's" Chapter of New You in Five Days.

I feel that perhaps my STBX is one of those that when he said he was done, really meant that and he is, and won't be changing his mind.

I did a reassesment of my sitution per DR principles.

Far as I am concerned the improvement in our R is 2 from zero after this length of time. Pretty small when where I want to be is an 8, and I'm most definitely not satisfied.

Yes, there have been small changes, the occasional compliment, the occasional asking me how I am. A few invitations to shared family activities, the lending of a book.

We were married 26 years. Rule of thumb for change is one month for every year of marriage. It's been almost that long since I got the " I'm not happy", July 2009.

There have been many changes on my end. Lots of counseling help from Divorce Busting and this site. Lots of self investigation and behavioural changes I've chosen to make for my own sake as well as my children's.

When I answered the question what might I do or what could change...only things I came up with are: work at becoming more "happy" in H's prescence ( right now I aim for calm and low key.), shut up entirely about my life/activities/work, and file for D myself.

I'll give this going dim/dark/n-c phase another two to three weeks, and see what happens.

But, I'm running out of runway for takeoff here as I see it.