Thing is I KNOW that comming here is not helping my m to improve. Sure I do on some level benefit from reading and posting advice to others but posting my own shtuff just isn't productive..for me...for my m...or for folks here.
Now you may say...well yes posting your own stuff certainly IS helpful to others but I see it differently....I don't come here and post good things about my sit or when I do I add a BUT...I complain an awful lot and it just aint right! Thing is my r is like most..there are good times and bad times...confusing times and playful clear times...they come and go with no clear reason why and searching for reason will likely bust a gasket in this here cranium.
I know that my h loves me...that I never doubted not even when he had moved out and was confident that he had never had "those" feelings for me and wanted to persue a r with ow...I knew he loved me...I also knew he didn't always love me the way I wanted to be loved...but I have always made it easy for him. Trying to find the line between making it easy for him and being a biatch is where I am and I think it is working.
my wanting to leave is not a reflection of my giving up and deciding that db is not working at making my m better...my wanting to leave is based on the fact that the way in wich I use the bb for myself is not productive unless I post soley to others and not keep a place for me to rant and rave...does that mean those feelings will be stuffed? NO it just means I am choosing not to every time something pisses me off to sit here and type about it...it's called life and there'll always be something to bug ya...ya just can't let it get under your skin.
for those still struggling with bringing home a was....don't worry...grab yourself by the boot straps and make yourself happy...not an act..get out there and live life...do the things you always wanted to do but put asside because you were a spouse etc. and don't tell me you can't cause if I managed to do it with two babies anyone can do it...don't look at others and admire their strength instead choose to aspire to that level and every day tell yourself "I am good enough, I am smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me" (and of course if you're like me you can add "and if they don't well then screw them!" with a chuckle of course)
don't worry about LL...she's a trooper and will never be kept down!
