Quote: So if that’s the way you feel, why do you keep coming back?
honestly???
just for something to do.
I guess that’s the one thing I forgot to mention (as far as the “advantages” of the boards). Some people like the intellectual exercise, or simply to shoot the krap with other people.
Thing is I KNOW that comming here is not helping my m to improve. Sure I do on some level benefit from reading and posting advice to others but posting my own shtuff just isn't productive..for me...for my m...or for folks here.
Now you may say...well yes posting your own stuff certainly IS helpful to others but I see it differently....I don't come here and post good things about my sit or when I do I add a BUT...I complain an awful lot and it just aint right! Thing is my r is like most..there are good times and bad times...confusing times and playful clear times...they come and go with no clear reason why and searching for reason will likely bust a gasket in this here cranium.
I know that my h loves me...that I never doubted not even when he had moved out and was confident that he had never had "those" feelings for me and wanted to persue a r with ow...I knew he loved me...I also knew he didn't always love me the way I wanted to be loved...but I have always made it easy for him. Trying to find the line between making it easy for him and being a biatch is where I am and I think it is working.
my wanting to leave is not a reflection of my giving up and deciding that db is not working at making my m better...my wanting to leave is based on the fact that the way in wich I use the bb for myself is not productive unless I post soley to others and not keep a place for me to rant and rave...does that mean those feelings will be stuffed? NO it just means I am choosing not to every time something pisses me off to sit here and type about it...it's called life and there'll always be something to bug ya...ya just can't let it get under your skin.
for those still struggling with bringing home a was....don't worry...grab yourself by the boot straps and make yourself happy...not an act..get out there and live life...do the things you always wanted to do but put asside because you were a spouse etc. and don't tell me you can't cause if I managed to do it with two babies anyone can do it...don't look at others and admire their strength instead choose to aspire to that level and every day tell yourself "I am good enough, I am smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me" (and of course if you're like me you can add "and if they don't well then screw them!" with a chuckle of course)
don't worry about LL...she's a trooper and will never be kept down!
I'd hate like hell to see you go but I think your reasoning (not helping your m right now) is wise. I don't suppose we could convince you to continue to offer your insightful, no-holds-barred advice ANYWAY? We promise to prevent you from starting your own new threads or ranting on ours
Your paragraph to the LBS' trying to get their WAS home is exactly what I'm talking about...should be required reading!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I fully understand you.
Venting on the boards can be useful for the first few months or even years, but there comes a time when all you seem to do is to perpetuate your negative feelings instead of just venting them.
It's very much akin to going to C to drag out the past.
It may sound hipocritical of me to say so, since I still lurk a little and post a little, but there's such a thing as too much.
I know you're going to do fine, LL. Perhaps you just need a break from looking so closely at your R so much of the time.
Maybe, like me, you'll let up some (I even left the BB completely for fairly long stretches), and come back to touch bases with your friends from time to time.
Or, if you want, you can do what some other DBers do, and stick to the light hearted stuff like the "just for fun" forum.
In any case, you really sound like you need a break, and I hope you'll find a way to just kick of your heels and be yourself.
I don't douobt for one minute that you won't be fine.
Anyone who reads you can tell your a die hard and a trooper. I understand what your saying and won't try to talk you out of anything you want to do.
When someone says they need to do something for themselves, I reckon we outta listen. That's being a friend. Just listening and supporting.
I want to thank you for all the times you've responded to me. You know in those "dark hours" how much it means to have someone take the time to care and try to help.
All I can say is, we need more people like you who aren't afraid to speak their minds. They spice things up and help us look at things from a whole different perspective.
Most of us appreciate the honesty in that.
Do what you need to do for LL. After all, isn't that just good DBing??? Rachael
I know what you mean. Just lately I have used the BB a lot for ideas on how to manage delicate situations and also for moral support when I have felt very emotional, but being here so much also takes up quite a bit of time and energy that I could be using to GET OUT THERE AND LIVE MY LIFE, so I know there will be phases when I visit less and then I will come back for more perhaps. Also need to be there a little for others, to give back something that the BB has given me!
My situation is very emotional and difficult at the moment and I welcome any new ways of looking at things and pointers from those with experience.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
livenlearn, don't worry I'm not gone for good just making some changes in the way I do business around here. Realizing that alot of what I post on my own threads is distructive and misleading not to mention pretty darn counter productive.
I do believe this forum moved..for a second there I thought it was gone but it looks like it's moved up a few blocks.
