As someone who has more or less left the BB, I think I know where you’re coming from.
I’m not going to give you any advice, just an observation.
I believe that every sit is different. Oh sure: there are similarities, but there are always differences. With that in mind, I think there are two things of value that a person can glean from the BB. The most obvious one is that where there are similarities, similar things can (not will, but can) work.
I think that’s why we see cliques on the boards. People who have achieved some sort of success with a certain way of thinking will espouse their ideas. Sometimes they espouse these ideas to someone who doesn’t think in a similar way, and sometimes a bunch of like minded people will try to “help” someone who disagrees with them.
Unfortunately, when this happens, we sometimes feel like people are ganging up on us. One school of thought is that when someone doesn’t “get it” they need a 2X4 across the brain box. That’s part of the reason I’ve kinda left the BB.
The other reason is that, like you, I’ve tried and tried to do “what works,” but the more I try, the worse things get. So, I tried doing nothing. It doesn’t work either. Seems hopeless, but I still glean hope from the idea that no matter what you do (or don’t), if you can avoid making things worse, there’s always a possibility that things will get better.
That brings me to the second benefit of the BB. It gives you a place of hope, and a place to vent. In short, a place to tread water until things get better.
But there comes a time when your spirits are no longer raised by the hope and inspiration you get from people on the boards. In fact, there are so many people who fail to get what they want, or are still struggling that the BB is a drain on your hope and PMA.
You start feeling something like this:
Quote: Truth be told there is little for me to gain here anymore and comming here is seeming to serve more distruction than good.
So if that’s the way you feel, why do you keep coming back?
I can only speak for myself, but I still lurk because there are still people I care about out here, and there are people who care about me (Hi Rachael!). I’m not immune to the ego-boost from someone who cares about me or who values my opinion, and sometimes a long lost friend comes back to post their success story.
Have you read Tree’s success story? CLICK HERE or the latest from Wilma? CLICK HERE or just about any of Matilda’s recent posts CLICK HERE. And I know you know what happened to TonyP.
But even with all of that, you have to balance it all out with the drain on your PMA caused by the stale-mated feeling you get when you spend so much time on the boards. There comes a time when “baby steps” are meaningless. When that time comes, even intellectual conversations about why things are a certain way, where things are going, what can or can’t change… Well, it gets you down.
