XYZ is here longer than I ever imagined....

[XYZ]

So a fish is swimming along in the lake and spots a tasty worm just hanging there. He looks at it and thinks, "I could eat that worm but I bet there's a hook in it." All his friends on FishBusting.com say "Don't eat the worm, there's a hook in it". He knows it. He eats the worm. He get's hooked and is surprised by it! WTF. Stupid fish.

Had a great MC session yesterday. Tried to level my expectations. J3B said "level you expectations". Harrier said "don't know if I'd look forward to it". I knew it. Session went as good as it possibly could have. Today [censored] a$$. I'm still in this G-D apartment and haven't moved home yet. What did I expect? That we'd go from the counselor's office straight to the moving truck rental place? Geezz. I've got to get my head of out my rear.

Two really good, great even, things today. I should be on cloud 9, instead of hating this f-ing apartment I call home.

First, I saw W this AM and mentioned that I needed to drop something off at the house today. A bit later, she sends me a text asking me to wait until they are out so it doesn't confuse the kids. I reply ok. A few minutes later I get this: "I hope I didn't hurt your feelings, my urge is to have you here more, too. I just want to do what's best for the kids @ this time. ily" I reply that I understand. Wow. She wants me there, she's telling me she wants me there, just being cautious for the sake of the kids. I get that. This is WAY more then she's said to me anytime soon. She's told me she loves me, but not that she wants me there. In fact, last time it came up she clearly did not want me there. This is great.

Four hours go by.

I'm out doing my thing, no contact with W. Out of the blue, I get a TM: "I love you" (Spelled out, not abbreviated as is her norm). Holy cow. I reply "Not as much as I love you" (This is an old joke from days gone by). Her "Well well, not so sure about that". Couple more texts.

Signs are all pointing to the place I want to go. I have GOT to learn patience. If you'd told me 6 weeks ago this is what would be going on 6 weeks later, I'd have called you a fool. In 6 short weeks, I've gone from there to here and I want more. I need to just be happy thinking about that and not all the way there yet.